found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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