Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
