You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
