You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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