Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
