ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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