yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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