the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
