I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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