i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
