Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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