Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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