The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
