i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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