Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Apparently you make a good broom.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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