You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
