it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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