omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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