I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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