it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
