Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
