she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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