what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
