i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
