no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize