my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
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DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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