You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your cock deserves a montage
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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