question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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