Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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