She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
