You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
