I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
