I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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