so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
