well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
