I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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