You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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