I heard we made out
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
