I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize