i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
