Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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