No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
