just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
