Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
