Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
