That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
