Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
