GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
