I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
