i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
