? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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