U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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