remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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