i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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