You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
