The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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