He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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