are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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