What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
