I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
bring money and cleavage
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
