words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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