All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
