im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
