can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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