i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
